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Saturday, August 24, 2013

Open Letter (ish) to Carly Rae Jepsen

Alright. This is probably about to get heated. I've seen these ads awhile back and have been a bit busy to write my feeling about them. So here it goes!

The Candies Foundation teamed up with pop singer Carly Rae Jepsen to create some eye catching PSA's about teen pregnancy. Carly Rae is the "Call Me Maybe" singer. I know, the song is now stuck in your head. I'm sorry...i'm so so sorry.

 
Hey Carly I have an idea. Why don't you pick up the phone and call Justin Bieber's mom and tell her she didn't change the world. She was a teen mom and had a pop star. A pop star who in fact PUT YOU ON THE MAP. Just saying. Because taking care of our children and learning an important human lesson of responsibility isn't changing the world right? Because the teen mom's who wipe butts, clean, cook, go to high school, go to college, and work more than you have in your entire life aren't changing the world.
 
Let me tell you something my dear. With every genius in history comes a mother. Sometimes they are young. Sometimes they are in their thirties, the way society wants it. And sometimes they are in their forties. EVERY mother is changing the world. But I guess you can't understand what this means considering you aren't a mother.
 
And let me get a little bitter here. Please enlighten me on how YOU are changing the world. And fake, photo op "charity work" doesn't count. Doing PSA's like this doesn't count. "Creating" cookie cutter pop music is hardly changing the world for the good.
 
I want you to think about all your teen mom fans out there that you have humiliated and put down. What about all the pregnant teens who adore you? Don't you "love your little jepsies!" (I just gagged a little in my mouth) We are told we aren't worthy to be parents enough on a day to day basis. And while we shouldn't let words get us down, some days it's hard not to.
 
We are MOM's. PERIOD. End of story. But more importantly, we are people. We are humans. We deserve respect. We deserve to be embraced. And no I'm not saying to get pregnant as a teen. And if that's what you got out of this rant you fail. no offense. :)
Don't coward behind this PSA. I dare you to actually talk to a teen mom, face to face, and tell her she hasn't changed the world.

love
An actual Young mom.
 
 
 
BOOM

Friday, August 2, 2013

Birth story

Life is super busy sometimes and I apologize! Today I thought I'd write about my birth experience. I hope you don't mind and I promise it won't be too graphic. :) I've been thinking about that day for awhile now because my sweet baby is turning two in October. Every day that we get closer I just can't even believe it! Been through so much these past three years. All blessings even the tough times. 



So here we go! 

 My due date was technically October 15th. As any mommy knows, you have the calendar marked and even though you aren't supposed to be fixed on that date, it's difficult not to be. Such excitement, fear, anxiety, and frustration all wrapped up in one when you see that date come and go. You calmly talk to your baby. You say things like, "okay little boy. You CAN come out now. No one is holding you back." you are so full of emotion that you eventually just assume you are going to be pregnant forever so you eat a pint of ice cream and cry. (really guilty of this) meanwhile family and friends are trying anything to distract you so you aren't driving yourself crazy. This sounds so lame but I bought a box of crayons and a coloring book to keep myself busy. Well it worked. Just some sort of mindless activity to take your mind off "when the heck am I going to have you!". 

The 15th was a Saturday. The 21st was a Friday and I had an ultrasound appointment to make sure he was doing alright. I woke up, showered, ate a small bowl of oatmeal and juice, and went with my hubby to the doctors. I think my mother In law came too. I was feeling nervous. During the ultra sound James flashed us an L that he made with his fingers. All I thought was him thinking "haha losers. It's cozy in here and I'm not going anywhere!" the technician said "oh! That was a contraction!" I laid there watching James play and said something like, "really?! I thought that was just a kick!" obviously early early labor as it didn't hurt. The technician said the amniotic fluid was starting to leak and get low so the doctor was probably going to induce. And the. She said something like "yay! You'll be able to finally get this baby out of you". That didn't sit with me well.

You see I had my birth plan written out and I was determined to go all natural. No induction, no nothing. So when the technician said that I started panicking. It was a weird mixture of thoughts. Of course I wanted to meet my baby and get him out as safely as possible but on the other hand I was comfortable with my plan and felt uneasy about not knowing what to expect. The doctor checked me out and said something like "the altitude we live in (santa Fe new Mexico aka HIGH altitude) is making the amniotic fluid low which is dangerous so you need to be induced" I honestly started to cry. I was heart broken which may sound selfish to someone but gimme a break. My hormones were wack. And then her staff started acting weird. They were frantically running around making calls to get me a room in the hospital. It really freaked me out and made me feel like I was in serious danger. Luckily my mother in law and husband calmed everyone down as it was making me panic. We were told not to get our bags but we convinced the doctor to let us run home. Travis and I made calls on the way home, packed, kissed our puppies, made more calls and drove nervously to the hospital. He was so scared and so excited! After a trillion efforts of getting the darn hospital gown on I eventually just asked for help. I was really nervous and just couldn't think straight. We were stuck in the icu because as it turned out, EVERY woman decided to have their baby that day. How fun. More than anything, I HATED getting the IV in. Contractions started to become more noticeable and I hadn't gotten the pitocin yet. In fact, it was a couple hours before I got the pitocin. It must have been close to noon when we got to the hospital, maybe 11:30 I really don't remember. But I don't think I got the pitocin till about four hours after that. So it made me question if this was as serious as they were making it out to be. I was progressing in labor all on my own. Once they administered the pitocin I was still keeping up a sense of humor. 

Finally we were moved to a birthing suit and I was definitely feeling those contractions. My brother tried to crack a joke about the board with the pain o meter. You know, the one with the faces. It was funny before but I think I said something like "not effing funny anymore!" sorry about that! At this point the sun was going down and I was getting hungry and annoyed. I was still only 4 cm dilated but my doctor okayed a "liquid tray" to be sent to my room. I inhaled all the broth, jello, Popsicle and juice , but was still really hungry. Travis hadn't left my side until he went out for some air. Or maybe he went home to shower in between. I said he could go but after he left I desperately wanted him by my side. No offense to my mom and mother in law, but Travis helped me during contractions the most. Someone tried to bring a whole freaking pizza in and I just about lost it. "in the lobby! Get it out of here now!" At this point, I think a nurse turned my pitocin up waaaaaay too high because I was having contractions every minute or so but hardly any break in between. Someone eventually fixed it thank goodness. 

Still very frustrated that I was at four cm. Travis was being so sweet and encouraging. I had an iPod dock playing music and everyone said I was basically singing through contractions. The music really did help. What didn't help was looking up to find that everyone was just staring at me. It was making me edgy and angry that I made some comments like, "I feel like I'm in a fish bowl".a total of eight people I think were in the room, not to mention the nurses coming in and out. I couldn't express how much this was bothering me. I was having hard contractions. My fish bowl comment had been repeated in a faint voice. I kept thinking, "my birth plan! You all know I only want a few people!" of course they didn't know that but it's all good. 

 Doctor came in and suggested we break my water. Mind you, it's probably around seven or eight o clock. At this point I'm ready to be done so I agree. How silly of me to think that I was having hard contractions before. My labor was kicked into hyper gear. You get to a point in your labor where you stop giving a crap. You aren't embarrassed that you have to keep running to the bathroom. In fact, you just strip down naked because screw clothes! I know I was the loudest women that night. People already had their babies or got an epidural. I feel bad for the ladies next door having to listen to me yell profanity.  I was going from shivering to burning up every few minutes so I'd demand ice packs to warm blankets one after the other. It became a bit of a circus. I used the ice to numb my tailbone as James was moving down and wraped myself in a warm blanket. "ice, water, blanket. Ice, water, blanket!" so all those people ended up being very helpful. 
I was going to the bathroom every few minutes. My husband trying to catch up to me with the IV rack so It wouldn't come out. Back and fourth. And then I felt excruciating pain. I BEGGED for the juice. Give me the drugs! I thought I couldn't handle the pain. Turns out there was a LINE for the anesthesiologist. I also was transitioning which means the baby is coming down the birth canal. I was too late for the epidural. I jumped up to go to the bathroom dragging Travis behind me and then.....something felt different. 


"I HAVE TO PUSH!" I yelled dramatically. (hey...I'm a bit of a diva). They prepped me and I noticed something was missing....uhm the DOCTOR. The nurses informed me that she was in a c section and that they might have to deliver James. One nurse looked nervous. Juuuuuuuuuuuust dandy. They had  me practice pushing. I yelled each time and I remember finally the doctor ran in! She was excited, but totally calmed me down for a minute. She told me to hold in my yells and use that energy to push. All of the sudden I had a bust of energy (thanks God!). And when I was losing strength I reached down and touched his head! I was amazed how close we were to meeting. I almost cried but got my determination back. At 9:46 PM Oct. 21st 2011 my baby boy came out singing. Travis had to sit down for a minute and how sweet it was to see him finally stand up and cry as he kissed James and I. He was in so much awe. I was shaking a little which is totally normal. I just couldn't believe I was holding my baby boy! He was beautiful and perfect. His sweet cry. I couldn't stop looking at him. Everyone was trying to ask me things and talk to me but it. Was like Travis, James and I were inside a bubble. And after he was weighed and measured ( 6 pounds 6 ounces 18 1/2 inches)  he was back  in my arms. Rooting like crazy. Ready to nurse. I still just couldn't stop looking at him. He has my face! His daddy's ears. Once things were settled I remembered I was starving so I ate a ham sandwich. I never ate pork during my pregnancy but that was the best sandwich ever. My mom fed me while I held a sleeping James in my arms. I think my labor and delivery lasted about 10 hours but It was worth it. Not only was Travis holding my hand but God was with me as well, Strengthening  me when I needed it. and now I am grateful for all the people in the room because they got to witness one of the most miraculous event's ever! 




Sierra "Lucy"